Now I remember the reason my other blogs failed.
Having to post.
Today’s assignment from Blogging 101 was to post to our ideal audience, to imagine one person who we wanted to reach with our words.
And I froze like a deer in headlights.
So, that’s what this post is about. Those moments when we have absolute control over something: a new blog post, a blank page of our novel and generally the opportunity to do what we want with our lives.
I won’t lie, for as much as I talk about turning animal communication and healing into a real practice, I use every opportunity to avoid it.
Lately it’s been because I truly couldn’t commit to anything while I was caring for Mom and Dad at the level I was. Before that, it was lack of training, before that it was something else.
Just like this morning. I read the assignment last night, got pumped up to write, and this morning I have avoided it like the plague. Where did last night’s inspiration go?
And this is my fear overall. After all the studying and practicing, all the life events, am I really good enough to put myself “out there” ?
Am I enough?
And if not, when will I be enough? I hear a lot of voices in my head from growing up, we all do. Our parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers and peers. And maybe worst of all, people we don’t know, people on social media, who tout their own amazing life/gifts/skills – or worse, people who put you down for expressing your dreams.
So, this is for you, my ideal audience. The person who is reading this and saying, “I always wanted to ….”
You can do it. You don’t have to share it with the world, in fact you should nurture that dream like a spark before it becomes a flame. But it will become a flame because there are people like me who believe in you. I don’t even know you, but I believe in your Soul. I believe that you and I were put here for a reason and it was for more than just to exist and worry.
It is to bring whatever gift you have, out into a world that is sadly lacking in gifts, in joy and in gratitude.
I want to have the BIG GIFT to give: the cure for cancer, the answer to achieve world peace.
But my gift is really to hold sacred space for everyone, to be the smile, maybe the only smile you get today, to be the healer for those around me, and believe me, that is a very small radius.
But a pebble thrown in a lake causes increasingly large ripples to flow outward.
And that’s a great gift.
So to complete the assignment I have to embed something in the post. This is me smiling at you.
As fearful as you are of us, we are just as fearful of you! But the rewards that come from facing your fear is worth it! I promise.
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Did you notice I forgot to put a title on this post? I just noticed. Thank you for the kind words!
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Thanks for your embedded smile:)! I love the vulnerability in your post and writing style. I hope you keep writing because I would miss you if you didn’t!
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Thank you Jen! I am learning as I go with this. For instance, I forgot to put a title on the post when I published it.
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Oh my goodness. You should see how many times I go back and add or edit my stuff. It’s crazy! I think 90% of my “visits” are from myself! haha!!
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You are so good enough and even better than that. I like how you’ve summed up the interior thought process of so many of us ~lisa
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Thank you Lisa. It’s funny, I thought when i was 30, 40 then 50, I would be grown up and polished and enough. At my dad’s funeral, I looked around and realized I was the adult in the room. Pretty horrifying, but there you go. Life sneaks up on us.
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I think you have expressed very eloquently how we all feel when we want to try something new. Taking that first step is indeed the hardest one.
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I am glad I am not alone. Sometimes the head voices can be paralyzing.
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Lol Jen, me too, there are 56 edits on this post.
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Thank you for being so open and for the encouraging words! We all need to hear them sometimes!
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Thank you for reading!
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Hi Karen – We need to smile more often and bring joy to ourselves and to others. Nice to meet you.
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Thank you so much!
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Thank you Karen, for such a wonderful post, and your smile! That really makes my day!!! Lately, and especially at the beginning of this new year, I have learned that the places where I have the greatest feelings of dread and fear tend to be the places where I must go. For the past year, I have been in the middle of my comprehensive examinations – and it’s a very transformative experience for me. I hate them so much, because they are still scary, and unfortunately, I have at least two more months of them ahead. I keep thinking, that as I progress through, the fear will lessen, and I will hate them a little bit less – but I don’t. There are other challenges, too, that I feel a resistance to, and I can truly relate to your post! Thank you for facing your fear, and writing this wonderful blog. I enjoy reading your words, and just like that – you have created this sacred space, and we smile together. ^.^
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Thank you Blue for such a great comment. For years i heard, what you resiet, persist. But sometimes, sometimes, it is pulling us in our soul direction. Now, i am not a big believer in “follow your bliss and the money will follow”, because if that were true, i would be a millionaire for napping. So i will hold sacred space for you with your exams, so you can add that to your skill toolbox, but also so you will realize and engage in, what is meaningful for you, and that you enjoy. Be well, my friend.
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