Our Blogging 101 assignment was to pick an event from the Community Event listings and participate. I am participating in monthly challenge of Your Woo Story by straightwoo.com.  #MyWooStory  My Woo Story.

So I am cheating a little by reposting from a blog I started in 2013 that went for a bout a year, until my dad got sick and I had to put everything on hold for my family. That blog was called My Grail Quest.

Fifteen years ago, I had a dark night of the soul that set me on a journey to find something sacred to believe in. Most of the time, it felt like I was thrashing around in a dark tunnel with no direction whatsoever. Occasionally I’d latch on to a philosophy and read it to death. I ended up with bookcases of material, some noteworthy, some dreadful.

But no direction.

This was frustrating. I wanted a plan but mostly I wanted (a or any) god to drop a neon sign that Clearly Gave Direction, as to what I was here for, and what I was to do. Because I’ve always felt this dissatisfying itch, that I was supposed to “do” something. Something…Big. Something…Important.

A lot of dialogue went on in my head. I kept asking for signs. One morning, a voice screamed in my head “You have what you need, within you.”

So this is my Grail Quest. To find what I have, within me.

Some of these posts will no doubt skirt the subject, but whatever the ‘something’ is, I’ll find out.

 

To be

I am having a pretty good week, quest-wise. I feel the Connection to the Source, which is reassuring. Wednesday morning I felt confident enough to do a shamanic journey.

Journeying is like reading the Tarot cards, you have to be in the right frame of mind. No anxiety or stress because that will cut your connection to Source. No desperation because you’ll be reaching for an outcome.

Those can be rare conditions and I took advantage of feeling at peace.

As usual, my question involved What Am I Here To Do? I worry I’m wasting my time on earth. And that time is running out.  And that I won’t find another job that’s fulfilling and that supports me. Ugh. Monkey mind.

In my journey, I was shown a beautiful swimming pool. Clear blue water under a sunny sky. My teacher said “Look at the water. It’s always water but sometimes it’s the ocean, sometimes it’s rain. Sometimes it’s ice or snow or vapor. But …”

“It’s always water,” I said.

“It doesn’t have a problem with that.”

I heard an implied question. I’m the one who has a  problem being who I am.

Who was I?

“Can I go in the pool?”

“Of course,” he lit a cigarette. He was wearing frayed cut offs. “You can take it with you, you know.”

I got in and floated. It felt amazing. Relaxing. Just to be.

And that was the message.

It’s ok to just “Be” or “be.”

7 thoughts on “A Little Woo Woo

  1. Your post has me thinking about the pool, and about the water. A while back, I wrote a poem, called, “I love you like the ocean.” …and it was because, as simple as water is….it is so amazingly vast, so unimaginably huge, and holds such amazing things within it, that standing at the beach, with the waves lapping at your feet connects you to both the simple, and the unfathomably complex all at once. I remember quote by Bruce Lee, “Empty your mind. Be formless…shapeless…like water. You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle…water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” Ha! I thought, what an amazing journey… to be you… to just be. And like that, you opened my mind like flower petals. ^.^ Thank you.

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    1. Oh my gosh, thank you. I am really honored you found soemthing worthwhile in the post. Bruce Lee had the wisdom, didn’t he? It is fun for me to revisit what I wrote a while ago, because I tend to get in my head and forget that this is all aprocess.

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      1. I am quickly learning that blogs connect the dots between ideas, and they can lead to deeper thinking. I was still thinking about the water, last night. …and you are right. Maybe that’s part of the pleasure of having a blog – we can revisit what we thought of in the past, and it can reshape what we think in the present?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I never thought of it that way: that blogs connect the dots. But you are right. Plus, you can redevelop a perspective through a different lens. You are such a smarty! So glad to know you.

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  3. Thank you so much – for some reason I only saw this now! I’m so sorry, I don’t know why the ping back didn’t get to me…! In any case, thank you so much and so great to be connected with other Shaman-y ladies on the web. 🙂

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