field-196173_960_720I am declaring a Fallow Year.

Several signs pointed me in this direction, including a dream where I had just unplugged my tablet, and the battery was not fully charged. It showed only 43% power.

I know this is true, because despite finally closing on parents house, the last piece in the puzzle to manage since dad died, and mom went to assisted living, I feel really whipped. No amount of positive affirmation is taking root. In fact, I have spent time honoring how crappy I feel.

The sad thing is, I don’t really know how to be fallow. In farming it’s a condition of allowing the soil, the ground, to rejuvenate and replenish after too many harvests. Maybe farmers don’t do this anymore. Crop rotation was something I learned way back in grade school and possibly with chemical fertilizers that’s not done anymore eyeball-17871__180

( looking at YOU corporate farms.)

 

So it was just another sign when my husband went to check on the compost bin and said… nothing had composted over the winter, it was useless.

So back to being fallow.

Right now, simply stating this position is giving me some peace. I am not dropping responsibilities for mom, my job or my home. But, I am recognizing that the time of frenzied activity and worry is past.

First off, I am not planting a garden. How’s that for literal interpretation? I have some large pots we can put annuals in, and I will plant a couple small basil plants. This gives me some beauty in the yard, and less clean up in the fall and next spring.

Second, I can stop timing everything I do.

time-731110__180

Last year I lived in my car – taking dad to treatments , mom to doctors, making sure they had groceries and maintaining their house. Now, I can go back to being a daughter, and visit mom in the assisted living where she gets a lot better care than I could ever give her, in her home.

Perhaps allowing this as a fallow time will restore my intuition and spiritual capacities. That might not be the right word. But both aspects of “me” have been seriously burned out by the past year.

 

 

 

 

9 thoughts on “A Fallow Year

  1. Just out of interest, what do you know about your birth chart? There are 4 (almost 5) planets in retrograde right now, including Mars. If Mars is strong in your chart, if can definitely feel like the gas is low when its in retrograde. I’m Aries Sun, Scorpio Moon, both ruled by Mars, so the retrogrades zap me a bit….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have it at home, but this is the quickie from online: Scorpio Sun, Scorpio Mercury and Venus and Jupiter and Neptune
    Taurus rising,Taurus Mars, Gemini Moon Sagitarius Saturn, Leo Uranus, Virgo Pluto, Aries Lilith and Libra Asc node.

    Like

  3. Welllllll there you go!! That much Scorpio will see a major slowdown in mojo right now. If you’re Taurus rising, Scorpio is your 6th house of illness/health, day to day work (vs career), and acts of service….seems about right with where you’re at! Things should pep up mid-Summer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Lee! I am trying to grow into my chart and into my authentic self, but right now, I am really feeling the retrogrades. Usually I am pepping up now and really shining by summer, but oh boy it’s like I jumped right to late Autumn and the winter going-within.

      Like

      1. Well, that’s very Scorpio! 🙂 I’m with you. I have Mars crossing my 6th/5th too, and it means I’m having to really take care of myself phsyically or pay a big price. Things are affecting me that never used to…That’s life. 🙂 Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to be a bit fallow for now!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Sometimes, we do need to say no to all of the hectic things in our lives…those that are the least important. I’m beginning to feel that way too. My goal this year was to have at least one day a week that was a me day, to do whatever I wanted, as long as it wasn’t work or Relay For Life related. That hasn’t happened, but I have had a few days and that has helped to rejuvenate me. I need to work on getting more of those days on my calendar.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, you set the intention, that is a great start. I started by reclaiming, like 10 minutes here and there. You are right, we need to rejuvenate wherever we can. Kisses to Tippy.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s