Life took a unexpected turn early in 2019.*

Basically, I’m still stalking the divine and looking for some type of like-minded community. Shout-out to the soul sister who suggested I just start my own, online.

So this is a toe-hold in that direction.

I found a great Tarot spread and courtesy of Lindsay Mack at Tarot for the Wild Soul. Check her podcast and sign up for her newsletter.

Holding ourselves through Fear.

This is a six card spread.

Holding through Fear

  1. A message from my anxiety, worry or fear
  2. How can I sit with this experience?
  3. What are these feelings inviting me to pay attention to?
  4. How might I tend to these feelings and care-take them?
  5. What is the evolutionary invitation under the fear?
  6. What card can help me to simultaneously hold the fear, and leap into soul growth at the same time?

I read the cards left to right, but then PAIRED them: 1 & 4,   2 & 5,   3 & 6.

  1. The Wheel
  2. 21 The World, reversed
  3. 8 Strength, reversed
  4. 2 of Cups, reversed
  5. 8 of Pentacles, reversed
  6. 6 of Pentacles

I used the DruidCraft Deck** for this reading.

Right off the bat, I can see that my fear/anxiety is part of a cycle – it will turn around (but can also come back) But, that’s life, right? I’m looking for a way to navigate this, and I totally hate uncertainty.

So, next card is The World, reversed. No surprise there are so many reversals in this reading, given that my fear is all the changes in life – uncertainty. How can I sit with this? The world seems upside down at this time, am I feeling this? Can my spirituality and practices ground me? What do I see from my upside down perspective? The World reversed reminds me of The Hanged Man. What can I learn from that?

Third card is Strength, reversed. What does this invite me to pay attention to? Maybe…at this time, my strength is drained. Should I invite strength into my life through self-care? something else? Music, relaxation. I have to think about this.

Card four should answer that question – 2 of Cups reversed. well, my cups certainly feel drained and I’m not terribly social to begin with. Maybe…I need to invite in, the energy of the two of Cups.

What is this fear inviting me to do, as an evolutionary step? Eight of Pentacles reversed. This is card of working on my craft, but reversed says….maybe a little too much? Maybe I need to look at this – is it benefiting me?

The sixth card, finally an UPRIGHT one – is the six of Pentacles, a card of generosity, but also a caution. It’s important to find the balance of giving and receiving – especially in a reading where being drained seems to be a part of the message. But, it’s also important to know when to ask for help.

Pairing cards 1 & 4 = Things change and I can’t let that throw me off the game. Or off the Wheel of life. Isolating myself, while ok for a bit, can ultimately cause more harm than good.

Pairing 2 & 5 = Both are reversals, Getting tied up in knots over work – whatever that “work” may be – causes paralysis. Get out of my head, or step away from the situation and gain some perspective.

Pairing 3 & 6 = Sometimes the answer to anxiety is to reach out to other people, either through service (a giving) if I am able, or in order to just receive the kindness and human interaction that comes from a social event.

I need to sit with this reading for awhile in order to find some actions to take to stem my own anxiety. This reading feels pretty accurate for where I am at the moment. I’ve used this spread twice and so far, it’s read easily and seems to offer a course of action.

 

*My 39 year-old step daughter died unexpectedly.  She lived out-of-state, so the trauma was compounded by police showing up after dark to tell us. There’s a lot to unpack from that and it’s still going on – grieving and questions and pain. That’s overshadowed a good bit of my life. It’s a footnote to this post but not a footnote to my life.

 

** Love this deck. There are three decks that I do not read reversals with: Thoth, Wildwood and Everyday Witch. <– love this Everyday Witch deck for it’s whimsy. The other two are my badass decks that I read for myself with.

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