Sidewalk Oracles

sidewalk-oracles

I want to recommend  Sidewalk Oracles by Robert Moss. I first heard about him through some friends, who were also interested in the messages we receive from dreams. Mr. Moss has studied dreams and dreaming,  and based on my friends’ recommendation, I read Dreamgates earlier this year.

And because I tend toward OCD on subjects, I ordered several other of his books. (Book-aholics! Please check out Better World Books for free shipping and to help their literacy project.)

I have always been a strong dreamer and have kept a journal that includes my dreams, for many, many years. Dreams have always fascinated me and I often receive helpful, albeit sometimes cryptic, information from them. I will let you know how the two other books are when I finish them.

So back to this one.

Sidewalk Oracles is an easy read, I was able to finish it over a weekend. There’s a lot of Mr. Moss’s personal story interspersed throughout the book, but it gives you a framework for the information he presents. The meat of the book, for me, was the chapter on asking for, and recognizing, the everyday oracles that are available.

If you’re into this kind of material, you won’t be too surprised by the content. But, I learned new things and new ways of receiving information and validations. If you’re on the cusp about this, check out Robert Moss’s blog and website. He is also on Facebook and posts some of his blog material there.

 

 

Trolling

Looky what I found! A Troll Doll.  Throw Back and good memory.

13729183_10155036629223275_799269819353812816_n

For no good reason, Troll dolls popped up in my memory several months ago. I remember them from the 1970’s. You could get pencil topper trolls, and by the end of the fad, they came dressed in various professional garb: Doctors, nurses, etc.

Every once in a while I’d think about Trolls, more from nostalgia, like “oh that was a carefree time wasn’t it?” (Ignoring that I was an insecure teen and scared of most people.)

John and I stopped at an antique shop on Friday. He always finds cool little things. Or big things like the milk container on our front porch. Anyway, I was wandering through this maze of a store, and I found this Troll doll. I was nearing the end of my interest in walking around and looking, and for some reason remembered about Troll dolls. In the next cubby, was a pencil topper troll, and on the other side, four Troll dolls.

Ok, it’s a neat coincidence but why bring it up?

About a month ago, the shaman-study group did some ancestor work. One of the exercises came from Frank MacEowen’s book “The Spiral of Memory and Belonging.”book In the exercise, I stepped back in to four successive generations of my ancestors” my dad, his father, his father’s mother and then her father. The purpose was to feel what those people felt, to learn something about their motivation or their lives, in order to see our own lives a little clearer.

What I learned from this, was there was an overwhelming sense of duty to support the family. I felt my great-grandmother Christine scrubbing clothes on a washboard while her child played in a field. There was a sense of not being able to “look up” from her work. I felt my grandfather walking the street home from a job, burdened with trying to feed eight children during the Depression. The focus on work to sustain the family. I felt my Dad being one of eight, and the need to do better, make sure we were fed and sheltered. There was such a sense of working to ensure survival.

And then there was my great-grandmother’s father. This man’s energy was bright and hopeful. He loved horses, and dreamed of escaping the town for the country.

What does this have to do with finding the Troll? I believe it was a gift from my ancestors to remind me that I don’t have to work to survive. That this legacy of determination has served me well in the care of my dad and mom over the last several years, and in my drive to always have a job, even when my husband was laid off. I can always draw on that.

13512187_10154987699618275_1326423396505250008_n
Ancestor Barbie says “Hi!”. Someone in the line was a comedian.

But, they are reminding me that it is ok to play and be whimsical now and then.

This is the second time a toy like this has crossed my path. About five years ago, for whatever reason, I found a Kangaroo Beanie Baby at a flea market. I walked past it, and went back because when I was a little kid, I had a kangaroo stuffed animal, just about that size, named Matilda.

You may be getting some nudging too. I’m telling you, these things are really subtle and easily dismissed. It does take tuning into yourself to listen to those quiet thoughts, and that’s a practice. It is totally worth it though.

 

 

A Little Woo Woo

 

Our Blogging 101 assignment was to pick an event from the Community Event listings and participate. I am participating in monthly challenge of Your Woo Story by straightwoo.com.  #MyWooStory  My Woo Story.

So I am cheating a little by reposting from a blog I started in 2013 that went for a bout a year, until my dad got sick and I had to put everything on hold for my family. That blog was called My Grail Quest.

Fifteen years ago, I had a dark night of the soul that set me on a journey to find something sacred to believe in. Most of the time, it felt like I was thrashing around in a dark tunnel with no direction whatsoever. Occasionally I’d latch on to a philosophy and read it to death. I ended up with bookcases of material, some noteworthy, some dreadful.

But no direction.

This was frustrating. I wanted a plan but mostly I wanted (a or any) god to drop a neon sign that Clearly Gave Direction, as to what I was here for, and what I was to do. Because I’ve always felt this dissatisfying itch, that I was supposed to “do” something. Something…Big. Something…Important.

A lot of dialogue went on in my head. I kept asking for signs. One morning, a voice screamed in my head “You have what you need, within you.”

So this is my Grail Quest. To find what I have, within me.

Some of these posts will no doubt skirt the subject, but whatever the ‘something’ is, I’ll find out.

 

To be

I am having a pretty good week, quest-wise. I feel the Connection to the Source, which is reassuring. Wednesday morning I felt confident enough to do a shamanic journey.

Journeying is like reading the Tarot cards, you have to be in the right frame of mind. No anxiety or stress because that will cut your connection to Source. No desperation because you’ll be reaching for an outcome.

Those can be rare conditions and I took advantage of feeling at peace.

As usual, my question involved What Am I Here To Do? I worry I’m wasting my time on earth. And that time is running out.  And that I won’t find another job that’s fulfilling and that supports me. Ugh. Monkey mind.

In my journey, I was shown a beautiful swimming pool. Clear blue water under a sunny sky. My teacher said “Look at the water. It’s always water but sometimes it’s the ocean, sometimes it’s rain. Sometimes it’s ice or snow or vapor. But …”

“It’s always water,” I said.

“It doesn’t have a problem with that.”

I heard an implied question. I’m the one who has a  problem being who I am.

Who was I?

“Can I go in the pool?”

“Of course,” he lit a cigarette. He was wearing frayed cut offs. “You can take it with you, you know.”

I got in and floated. It felt amazing. Relaxing. Just to be.

And that was the message.

It’s ok to just “Be” or “be.”

Stepping beyond fear

Now I remember the reason my other blogs failed.

Having to post.

Today’s assignment from Blogging 101 was to post to our ideal audience, to imagine one person who we wanted to reach with our words.

And I froze like a deer in headlights.

So, that’s what this post is about. Those moments when we have absolute control over something: a new blog post, a blank page of our novel and generally the opportunity to do what we want with our lives.

I won’t lie, for as much as I talk about turning animal communication and healing into a real practice, I use every opportunity to avoid it.

Lately it’s been because I truly couldn’t commit to anything while I was caring for Mom and Dad at the level I was. Before that, it was lack of training, before that it was something else.

Just like this morning. I read the assignment last night, got pumped up to write, and this morning I have avoided it like the plague. Where did last night’s inspiration go?

And this is my fear overall. After all the studying and practicing, all the life events, am I really good enough to put myself “out there” ?

Am I enough?

And if not, when will I be enough? I hear a lot of voices in my head from growing up, we all do. Our parents, teachers, bosses, co-workers and peers. And maybe worst of all, people we don’t know, people on social media, who tout their own amazing life/gifts/skills – or worse, people who put you down for expressing your dreams.

So, this is for you, my ideal audience. The person who is reading this and saying, “I always wanted to ….”

You can do it. You don’t have to share it with the world, in fact you should nurture that dream like a spark before it becomes a flame. But it will become a flame because there are people like me who believe in you. I don’t even know you, but I believe in your Soul. I believe that you and I were put here for a reason and it was for more than just to exist and worry.

It is to bring whatever gift you have, out into a world that is sadly lacking in gifts, in joy and in gratitude.

I want to have the BIG GIFT to give: the cure for cancer, the answer to achieve world peace.

But my gift is really to hold sacred space for everyone, to be the smile, maybe the only smile you get today, to be the healer for those around me, and believe me, that is a very small radius.

But a pebble thrown in a lake causes increasingly large ripples to flow outward.

And that’s a great gift.

So to complete the assignment I have to embed something in the post. This is me smiling at you.1483877_10152476219073275_212951160_o